My boss is my Facebook friend


This whole thing started a few years back, when he was not my boss, or anything similar. We met through work, we did a few tough projects together, we grew to respect each other, then like each other, and eventually we became friends. I’ve added several of my real-life work friends, including him, as Facebook friends.

Firstly, there seemed to be no harm in doing that. I maintain a Facebook page that my mother can see. I mean, not that she’s tech savvy enough to be on Facebook (and I’ll be the last one to educate her),  but still. Besides, my husband’s mother is on Facebook, and it seemed rude to refuse her friend request (although I procrastinated as long as possible). So, you can tell my political attitude (uber-liberal) and religious leaning (none) from my Facebook page. You see the things that I care about (mostly links to NY Times or NPR stories). You get a window into my weird sense of humor. But (and this is important), you do not get to see any semi-naked pictures of me getting drunk.

Secondly, I travel to places where most people haven’t been. I post those travel photos on Facebook, and truthfully, that’s mostly the reason that anyone is interested in my posts. Some of my friends (and work friends) claim that they are just living vicariously through me. I’m happy to share my adventures with one and all.

Nonetheless, one person I refrained from adding on Facebook was the person who used to be my manager. Because — you NEVER know. I mean, what if I’m just playing with my keyboard someday, and the random key strokes happen to spell out an expletive, and then my finger slips on the “Post” button? It could happen, right? Better be safe than sorry, and all that.

So, all was going swimmingly, until the soul searching following my brain tumor made me decide to come out about my depression. (Oh yes, I am going to use the brain thing as an excuse!) I came out in this blog. And I created a Facebook page for it, one that currently has (drum roll) 1645 followers (which is exciting because, by choice, I only have a couple of hundred Facebook friends). One of those followers is my new manager. And he reads this blog. (I know, because he’s left comments.)

From no angle can this be considered good. Yes, it’s a new world and all that, and everyone is broad-minded enough not to discriminate, but do you really want your employer to know that you have a chronic mental condition? The good news, I suppose, is that he hired me after being fully informed. But what now? What if my finger slips (see above)? Should I ask him to stop reading? Should I un-friend him (which would be pretty pointless since it wouldn’t take him off my public blog page)? Should I just tell him that I believe in separation of work-and-personal life, and he cannot allow our personal relationship to encroach on our business relationship?

Perhaps, if he’s reading this post, he’ll give me a suggestion.

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6 Responses to My boss is my Facebook friend

  1. EVERY ONE dose that some time or the other.

    I never add any of my bosses EVER. I have few of them in the pending friends request 😛


  2. Scott Baker says:

    Interesting post. What’s you’re biggest fear here? That your new “boss” will find out that you’re a human being and not a robot (or energizer bunny)? That your finger may slip and post a curse word? Why would either of these things be a cause of concern?Most likely, your new “boss” probably just sees value in the work that you do and wants to help you be successful, how ever you might measure that success. I’m sure they would “unfriend: you if it made you more comfortable. I wouldn’t worry about it, if it were me.


    • Mimi G. says:

      Thanks for the response – I did want to see what you would say! 🙂
      1. Not worried really, more amused by the irony (I believe I filed this post in “Humor”)
      2. Definitely not worried about curse words because (a) I usually use them when warranted (b) You are not one of my friends’ little children that I live in fear of accidentally “corrupting” (my friends always respond “It’s nothing that they haven’t heard before!”)
      3. I think there is a genuine stigma attached to mental health. It took a lot of resolve for me to start writing openly about my own illness. I’m really happy that you do not consider that a disqualifier for my employment. I know that’s the way it should be, but in the real world, it often isn’t. So, thanks for making this world a better place.
      Conclusion: I’m not unfriending you! And I hope you keep reading and enjoying my posts.


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